Stephane Dion, maximum leader of la revolucion

It's important, when staging a coup d'etat, to have a charismatic leader -- someone to inspire the masses, and to connect so strongly with the people, that their emotions cause them to ignore constitutional norms and go with their hearts.

He has to be a natural communicator. A powerful speaker. A motivator.

People should be calling out "yes!" and "damn right!" when they hear him speak.

And when he's done, they should be saying, "let's march!"

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Maximum Leader of the Liberal-NDP-Bloc coalition, el jefe, Stephane Dion:

Seriously, though. Putting aside his struggles with the language, what's with the webcam action? Or was that a cell phone camera?

I do like the setting, though: books titled "365 Jours" and "Hot Air" seem about right.

How many takes were discarded before this Oscar-worthy performance was settled on? I'm guessing a baker's dozen. Remember, it took Dion three tries to come up with this eloquence during the campaign:

I know, I know. That's not fair. It's not izzy talking about the economy. And anyone who picks on him is obviously an anti-deaf bigot.

I couldn't help but think of Alec Baldwin in this classic scene from 30 Rock. Baldwin's character, Jack Donaghy, has to tape a quick corporate video: 

Jack finally nailed it -- but it took more than 100 takes, over five days. Dion only had one day.

Dion was supposed to come on right after Harper's speech tonight. For some reason, unlike Gilles Duceppe and Jack Layton, Dion didn't deliver his remarks live -- odd, considering they were supposed to be a response to Harper's speech that Dion had obviously not yet seen.

I was watching TV, and didn't understand the excruciating delay, until it dawned on me what must have happened: the tape was done, but then Gilles Duceppe insisted on exercising his droit de seigneur, as guaranteed by the terms of his coalition: He didn't approve of Dion's speech, and was making him revise it.

That's my theory. The Liberal war-room thought that a better idea would be to give the "not a leader" sub-story some more legs by pushing out this detailed blueprint of a first-class screw-up. (I'm sticking with my theory.)

Alphée Moreau, a senior Liberal communication staffer, explained how the series of technical mistakes of their part resulted in an embarrassing snafu.

The timeline (all times ET):

• 6:15-6:30 - The Liberal miss their promised deadline to deliver Dion's statement to the television networks.
• 6:40 - Liberal arrive with a single tape at the press gallery in Ottawa. They were supposed to deliver two tapes, one in French, one in English. They arrived with a single tape in DVD-minicam format, which is not a broadcast quality format.
• Shortly after 6:40 - The Liberals decide to run back to their offices -- a block away -- because the French portion of the tape needs another edit.
• 7:05 - Liberal staffers were still in their offices as the networks went to air with the Harper address.
• 7:07 - Harper's statement finishes and network anchors are forced to kill time as they wait for Dion's address.
• 7:10 to 7:15 - Liberal staffers arrive back at the press gallery on Wellington Street with a DVD-minicam player that they had taken from their own offices, along with the associated cables. There is still only one tape, not two. A press gallery official tells the Liberals that the gallery is not the feed point and an argument ensues. The Liberals ask why they weren't told that earlier. The feed point is next door at the CBC building, which is the long-established feed play point for all network pools. The Liberals are informed that they need to be walked into the building by authorized staff.
• 7:20 - English network anchors are still live on television, wondering where the tape is. CTV has still had no communications from the Liberals about Dion's address.
• Approximately 7:15 - CBC receives tape and begins dubbing into French and English versions. This takes about 10 minutes.
• 7:28 - CTV decides to go off-air and back to regular scheduled programming at 7:30. CTV has still not seen a feed of the tape.
• 7:28 - CBC incorrectly punches out the finished feed only to their network.
• 7:30 - CTV signs off broadcast at scheduled time.

"We missed our deadline," Moreau said. "The shot was not all that professional. It was soft-focused."